Love...10 years Later

Who knew that time would sequent itself so.
Just as my swimming career took a new chapter, my first love life took a turn for the worse.
I guess, it was trade one love life in for the other- little did I know I'd loose both.
Here now at 28 years of age I've realized the absence of the two greatest loves and loses in my life and there's no way in getting them back.
Years of "expansion" and "exploration" and mind-trickin can't seem to get me to a clear direction in defining what it is what I want, though at one time it seemed so clear.
Through superfluous flights of grander and obtuse dreamery I think I know what I want, however, that's laughable- especially to my family locally.

What I want most is love...on a true, deep, meanigful level... but it can't seem to be found anywhere since this last ten years of what seems to be bad luck- but I swear I only swallowed that gum once when I was six.. okay maybe again at ten....